Dr Quackery is RAW HUMOUR'S resident health expert considered by peers, including Dr Mercoke-a-cola, to be one of the most knowledgeable health experts on the planet. Dr Quackery has made it his mission to root out health "quackery" on both sides of the fence whether it be conventional quackery or alternative health quackery.
Q. What is fugging?
A. Fugging is the practice commonly found in various raw food and new age hippy circles and involves the usage of hugs as a means of pressing your body up against another persons body for alterior sexual motives other than to demonstrate friendliness.
A fug should never be mistaken for a Hug. A fug can often last up to five times longer than a hug and can often be accompanied with a low pitched humming sound and usage of hand movement up and down the fug victims body. In order to protect yourself against fugging you kight like to purchase a MKIII RAW ABC All over Body Condom Suit
to protect yourself, especially if you are a gorgeous potential fugging victim!
Q.Do you have to soak your nuts?
A. The answer is not as simple as you might expect. A lot depends on the size of your nuts and how big your nuts are. You also have to know how hard your nuts are? Another important question to ask is how fresh and clean are your nuts? Some nuts have been sitting around so long that they have become rancid and would just go rotten if soaked.
Once you have answered all these questions then you can apply the simple RAW HUMOUR Nut Soaking Time Formula.
Nut (wxhxl)cm3 x Density + Age/ Weight per lb of nuts divided by atm
ospheric pressure divided by 60 = Soaking Time in Minutes
RECAP: In order to answer this accurately you need to ask yourself these additional questions:
- How big are your nuts?
- Are they soft nuts or hard nuts?
- How long have your nuts been exposed in the open air?
- Are your nuts rancid?
- Are your nuts highly acidic?
- Do you want to warm your nuts in a dehydrator?
Q. Who invented raw food?
A. David Wolfe and Dr Doug Graham both argue that they started it, but in fact Dr Norman Walker and Anne Wigmore were having a similar argument before they were even conceived. Records in the dietary vaults of babalon suggest that raw food was invented as far back as 500BC before the invention of the electric cooker and before the discovery of fire, when humans had to have been raw. Its just one of those questions that RAW HUMOUR believes actually detracts from your health and you are better off not worrying about.
Q. Is eating raw food bananas?
Q. Why is junk food so bad?
A. Junk food is so bad because it contains little or no nutrients and lots of unwanted unusable ingredients and calories that your body has to then digest and use up. If your body can;t handle junk foods then they start to clog up your body and make you fat. Its a bit like filling a car day after day with rubbish fuel and not taking it out for a big long run. After a while the engine becomes clogged and coked up and is far more likely to break down.
Junk food is also a secret way of creating lots of sick people who require drugs and medical care so as to make the pharmaceutical industry lots and lots of money.
Q. Do you have to eat 100% raw?
A. According to Raw Food Movement Law, sub paragraph six of the 100% raw food law act of 1985, any person calling themselves a raw fooder who doesn't eat 100% law is subject to imprisonment at a retreat centre to carry out a 6 month water fast.
If on the other hand you just wish to eat more raw food, then you can eat what ever percentage of raw you like without fear of any action from The Raw Food Movement.
Q. Who is the best Guru to listen to?
A. Be your own guru!
Q. Can superfoods give you super powers?
A. One persons "superfood", is another persons "not so super food"! Like with most aspects of raw food it is not always a food that is super, but what your body can do with a food that makes it super. If a food has something you need and can digest it and utilise it, then you could call it super.
Will a food give you super powers and enable you to fly out of a window like superman and fly....apparantly there are some magic mushrooms that will make you feel you can but unfortunately the mushrooms do not alter the laws of physics and you may sustain serious injury if you try it!
Q. Will raw food solve all your problems?
A. I wish I could say yes, raw foods will solve all your problems, but unfortunately not even raw food can help solve everything. If you have money worries and are in debt, then raw food may even make those problems worse, especially if you fall for every bit of sales and marketing hype you hear!
A. Where does a gorilla get all its protein?
Q. Is too much fruit bad for you?
A. Eating all fruit can make some people turn into highly strung individuals hell bent on turning everybody into fruitarians, however this very much depends on your body and lifestyle and where you are living as to how eating lots of fruit affects your health.
Q. Can the raw food diet improve your sex life?
A. A lot depends on what raw food you eat and what your partner thinks of raw food as well. They might think you are completely bonkers in which case it can ruin your sex life. If on the other hand you start to eat lots of maca and Deer Antler powder and you transform into a human sex god, then it may well improve your sex life a great deal! Raw food has also been shown to increase the size of a mans penis by as much as 65% in 6 months! (This claim cannot be scientifically proven, but it definitely increases sales of superfood by as much as 65%)
Q. What are green smoothies?
A. Green smoothies are smoothies that are green
Q. Do you still need to take supplements?
A. If you are eating a poor diet and are eating lots of poor quality fruit and veg, then it might be a good idea to supplement. If you are one of the people who doesn;t want to be taking supplements then why not consider taking Supplement Supplements instead!
Can raw food help you lose weight?
A. Yes! But health is not just about losing weight. Some people lose so much weight on a raw food diet that they look like skeletons. Not eating enough raw food for a long duration can leave you with nutritional deficiency problems in the long term.
Q. Why do some people get too thin eating raw food?
A. Because they are either not eating enough raw food, or they have a poor digestive system that is not able to diegst the raw food that they are eating
Q. Why does eating fruit and veg make you fart?
A. It is not always the fruit and veg that makes you fart. It is the healthy food reacting fermenting and putrifying with the cooked foods that are already stuck in your colon that makes you fart.
If you have a question that isn't answered here then do drop me a line at AskDrQ@RawHumour.com
